My husband and I are not big on TV. So this will be a story on how watching HGTV went completely wrong. We have a few TV shows that we watch on Netflix or Hulu, but that’s really about it. If you are a Netflix or Hulu fanatic, then you know how the story goes. You find a TV series that you like, you watch multiple episodes back to back, and before you realize it, you have reached the end of the series and now you’re back on the hunt to find another one. This is a vicious cycle that most users fall into, you are not alone.
While we are searching relentlessly, we come across an HGTV station. Perfect! We like to consider ourselves “weekend warriors” (we’re really not) and the idea of seeing potential projects excites us. We can get new ideas for improving our home and maybe win one of these sweepstakes they always have going on.
Here we go! House Hunters, Love It or List It, Flip or Flop, you name it, we were watching it. We both are into it. Brainstorming projects we can do around our house, most of these things will probably never get done, but the involvement and time we are spending together is really enjoyable.
The next day, we get ready to watch a little TV before bed. My husband looks at me and suggests HGTV in a perky upbeat tone. How could I resist? He seems to be enjoying all the makeovers and different outcomes of the homes. It’s cute! So of course I say yes.
This little routine goes on for a few days and we are on to Day 3, again he suggests HGTV. Now at this point I’m not really in the mood to see another remodeled kitchen. I could care less if they love their house or list it for sale. I am done. But it’s for my hubby. I want to make him happy and if he is this enthusiastic about it, I can deal with it. Meanwhile I’m secretly hoping that this urge to knock down walls and rebuild kitchens is just a phase as I get settled for bed and hope that I fall asleep fast.
A few more days pass by and nothing has changed. Every night, HGTV, home renovations, until I just can’t take it anymore. So when he gets the TV all set up for HGTV, I suggest that maybe we watch something else (I can’t remember what it was) but he turns it down. I had an immediate meltdown. There was no thought about it. I didn’t try to negotiate or “talk it out” as all the other married people do. I went straight to a meltdown.
Are you serious? I have been watching HGTV all week and now I am ready to watch something that I’m interested in watching. How could he be so selfish? Marriage is supposed to be about giving and taking, and right now I feel like I am the only person trying to compromise. He’s a jerk!
After I have my melodramatic meltdown, he tells me that he has been watching HGTV all week because he thought I was enjoying it. He enjoyed the first day or so, but the only reason he continued to suggest it was because he was trying to make me happy. He had no interests to watch HGTV all week either and he also was ready to watch something that he wanted to watch.
You gotta be kidding me!
Here I am thinking I’m the one who’s being the sweet and caring spouse, when the whole time my husband was trying to do the same. The both of us have wasted hours of time watching something that neither one of us were actually interested in. There are so many other things I can think of to have done with my time but the fact of the matter is, I continued to say yes was because I was able to spend uninterrupted time with my husband, even though we both were dying a slow death. See, it’s funny now, but at the moment, this was not funny at all. At the moment I was pissed, it was quite annoying and I actually went to bed pouting.
Now that I have come to my senses, I’m able to take a moment to reflect on the situation and I have learned two things.
What I Learned:
1. My husband and I love each other (I knew that part). We are both willing to do things to make the other person happy. We both were compromising, watching something on TV that we really didn’t want to watch, just to make the other person happy.
2. Communication does not mean you only talk about the bad things or the things that make you mad. It’s ok to compromise for your spouse on occasion, but not to a point where you are miserable. Communicating these things will bring awareness and honesty which in return builds trust.
Love is definitely about give and take. I’m happy to have found a partner who is willing to share in my interests even if they are not interests of his own. When I look back at this situation, I am reminded of the little things my husband does to make me happy and honestly sometimes it’s hard to see things from the other person’s perspective. I am also reminded of how hilarious it was for the both of us to torture ourselves with a week-long binge of HGTV.
I say all of these things to say this: As you go through your life experiences, you should always try to find the positive in every situation. Yes it was super annoying to watch countless days of HGTV, but at the same time I was able to see a blatant example of the give and take we practice in our marriage. This is something that we both strive for, and it’s the little things such as this that will allow us to remain married for endless years to come. After enduring countless hours of unwanted extreme makeovers, I enjoyed being cuddled up and brainstorming home projects that we may never even start, and that experience was totally worth the HGTV.