I shouldn’t have to defend my family size. Often times I feel as if I am labeled with stereotypes as to what my family is like. Usually those labels are untrue. I get comments like “Wow, I bet that’s noisy!” or “How do you have any time to yourself?”.
I was recently offended by a blog post I read on Facebook. It talked about why people SHOULDNT have a 3rd child. Maybe it was more like things you should consider prior to having a 3rd child, but that is not how I saw it, especially since I have a large family.
As I was reading the post I grew more and more upset because a lot of people have this preconceived idea that life with multiple children is completely chaotic, overwhelming or stressful and I’m here to tell you that it is not always the case.
By the time I had my 4th child, I had 4 children under the age of 5. Yup! Their exact ages were 4,3,1 & newborn baby. A year after my 4th child was born, I began going through the divorce process. So it was me and 4 kids doing everything.
I took my children to the grocery store, church, restaurants, playgrounds, everywhere…all by myself. Every time I did, I would be flooded with compliments on how well behaved my children were. It was then that I began to realize that other people must think my house is a zoo with wild animals on the loose.
I’ll be the first to tell you that we are not perfect, but momma don’t do foolishness.
Now, I am remarried, I have 5 beautiful children that I gave birth to, and then my husband has a gorgeous daughter from his previous marriage. We have an awesome family of 8 which includes 6 super smart and amazing little people.
I took my 5 children with me to a doctors appointment today. The appointment lasted about 45 minutes. The children sat out in the waiting room quietly talking and playing amongst themselves. After my appointment the doctor was so impressed at how well they stayed quiet and didn’t interrupt not one time.
We also went to a parent/teacher conference this week where we witnessed two children (siblings) running through the halls of the school while their mother yelled for them to sit down.
Being a parent means different things for different people.
For me, I am raising my children to be respectable, well educated, well mannered little humans. They understand when it’s appropriate to laugh loud and be silly, and when it’s appropriate to sit quietly and be patient.
I have instilled this into my children since they were little babies and now as they grow older they stick with those basic fundamentals and it makes taking them places and having fun so much easier.
If you have a family where your kids stay up all night, fuss at bed time, fall out in the floor when they can’t have their way, refuse to eat veggies or whatever other struggle you may endure…that’s on you. But you can walk in my house at any given time and it is clean, quiet, and peaceful.
I won’t apologize for that and furthermore I won’t be thrown into this category of “lots of kids = limitless toys across the floor and spaghetti sauce in my hair”. I’m not that momma and that’s not our life!
Crush the Rumors
I check in with our kids often to make sure that they are happy. They get whatever they want (within reason). I make sure they know that they are loved even when it embarrasses them.
We clean up. I get sleep. We are not on welfare (however use it if you need it). I am not stressed any more than the next parent. We own vehicles that adequately seat everyone. We are not sleeping on top of one another. Our children don’t run through the house like maniacs.
We are very fortunate for such a well rounded family. I couldn’t ask for anything better.
How children behave is determined by the type of parents they have. So I wouldn’t really blame the kids *sips tea*